But, I do

stop and look around
in this room
no one here can know you
you believe
but the world has changed
and you forgot
so here you are giving up
not giving in
or so you know and think and feel
but there's more to what i see
and there's no more you can hide

here's just one thought
i can be just as unkind
i can yell and scream and shout
i can stop you where you stand
and yet you run
you know not me or who i am
or so you say
and here i weave
in and out
and i don't know
but i do

push away

i will stay steady on, on the road i'm on now
i will push away the rain inside and outside
i will never give up knowing what i know
but someday i will fall and someday i will fail

i can avoid telling the tale to save my own soul
i can keep the dirt swept tight in my mind
i can mould your goal to see what you want to see
and you'll never know the difference

i should find peace soon in one way or another
i should let this all fall from my mind
i should know better than to be here again
but here i am and i'll do the best i can

even still

you are my muse, perhaps my raison d'être
you trigger emotions i dare try to hide
i fear nobody else will ever understand you
i wonder if it is meant to be that way

i have never cared much for our human confines
i have tended to edge bleed more than some
you even still cause be to break my own borders
you have only to smile or shed a tear and i give

i know my life and i know of my options
you seem to have accepted this for now
i wish i could find some way to meld things so perfect
you deserve so much more than i ever could give

we make our choices in life
we choose our own battles
your life is here for now
mine is where it always has been