Today

one day we will unite in our diversity
and not divide by our differences
one day we will respect ourselves and others
there will be a day

one day we will all smile
and not jeer, and yell, and kill each other
one day we will know harmony
there will be a day

one day we will embrace our neighbor
one day we will be joyous in our peace
one day we will accomplish these things
let us begin this day

Today.

This poem was certainly inspired by my knowing Layne. I feel very much as though it is my thread of Maya Angelou's On the Pulse of Morning.

On the Floor

I remember the locked door
As you walked away
The words I couldn't say
Me, lying, crying on the floor

I remember your smile
That hid your tears
That covered all your fears
Their intentions, oh so vile

I remember all that long ago
Only yesterday
And still, today, it hurts me so
It hurts me to this day

This was one of the few poems I've written so long after the inspiring event has passed. In the winter of 1998, I got to know someone, and this is about having that person ripped out of my life, and the helplessness I felt then and the pain I continued to feel. And still do feel.

i am

your words were poison
slowly stealing my life away

your eyes were piercing
like bullets, missiles

your jeers were virulent
earthquakes shaking my ground

your threats were terror
from which i could not hide

but i rebuilt
i dodged
i held steady
and i ran

here i am
now what can you say
yes, i suffered, though i am stronger
now what can you say

Another situation-long-since-removed thought. This is one of the most in-your-face and directed ones I've ever written, about the guys at my high school who had worked to make my life Hell. I think of it as almost vindictive in its tone. It reminds me much of the general emotion that Anastacia uses in the songs she writes (though I had no idea who she was at the time).

Mixed Emotions

I promised myself that my heart would be safe,
Perhaps wear a coat to cover my sleeve.
I promised myself I'd not fall for you,
But that was before you smiled and I tripped.
I promised myself that I would be stoic and reserved,
And that lasted for the first ten minutes.

When I see you, I feel so wonderful.
You make me laugh, you make me smile.
But then the silence, and I don't know what to say.
I'm alone in a crowd, the only one who knows you.
The only one who knows you.

I promised myself that my life would be mine,
Then you stole my heart and my time.
I promised myself reason would be first,
But I can't make you second.
I promised myself I'd be rational,
Man, that was a joke.

I promise myself I'll not let you hurt me.

Another poem inspired by Dustin. He had and has an incredible ability to make me laugh, but he has also perfected the art of making me cry. I wrote this in a moment to which I think I first realized I loved him, but also in which I, for the first time, caught a glimpse of the side of him that would haunt me (and does still).