Mixed Emotions

I promised myself that my heart would be safe,
Perhaps wear a coat to cover my sleeve.
I promised myself I'd not fall for you,
But that was before you smiled and I tripped.
I promised myself that I would be stoic and reserved,
And that lasted for the first ten minutes.

When I see you, I feel so wonderful.
You make me laugh, you make me smile.
But then the silence, and I don't know what to say.
I'm alone in a crowd, the only one who knows you.
The only one who knows you.

I promised myself that my life would be mine,
Then you stole my heart and my time.
I promised myself reason would be first,
But I can't make you second.
I promised myself I'd be rational,
Man, that was a joke.

I promise myself I'll not let you hurt me.

Another poem inspired by Dustin. He had and has an incredible ability to make me laugh, but he has also perfected the art of making me cry. I wrote this in a moment to which I think I first realized I loved him, but also in which I, for the first time, caught a glimpse of the side of him that would haunt me (and does still).